It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
