i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
