why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
