another moral hangover. fuck.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
