she was so not down for the gang bang
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
