I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
