I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
