He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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