he looks like a really good dad on facebook
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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