I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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