the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
