Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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