ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
