I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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