Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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