the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
