i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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