So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
