you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
