I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
