He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
