I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I want to be your penis for a week.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
