i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Drunk is not a location!
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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