If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
