Four minutes until I can fart!
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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