i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
