I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
