Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
