I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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