Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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