the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
