I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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