After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
