I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize