on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
