I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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