Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We had to coat check the pizza.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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