I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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