im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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