I didn't shave. On purpose
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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