I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize