All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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