ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Its about making memories worth repressing
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
