Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
