you traded sex for a burrito?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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