you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Come share oat with me in your robe
When are your genitals available?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
