she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
