last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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