I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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