she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
